Season 4
Download Audio files from Shows 151 to 161 Here:
OSCAR BANTOR
The Oscars. No one ever calls them the Academy Awards anymore do they? Who is the so-called Academy anyway? Approx 23% of the almost 6000 membership are actors and are the largest voting group. Members must be invited to join, from the board of governors. The invite could be due to big contributions to the Motion Picture industry.) The Academy does not publicly display its membership, but 2007 press releases did give away new invites.
Why the big secret?? Why should they be allowed anonymity? We think the public should vote for the Oscar winners, like American Idol does. With all the millions of people who see the movies, why do we rely on 6000 people we don’t even know to make the decision? Aren’t “we”, who the movies are made for? At the very least, we should be able to nominate.
I have an Oscar party every year. We fill out ballots, dress up and have category prizes. This year was a small group. I filled out my ballot and only got 8/24! It’s not surprising when I only saw one of the nominated movies, Slum Dog Millionaire. (Which won 8 Oscars, so I think I got my moneys’ worth!) All the girls loved Hugh Jackman! How hot is that man. The one thing we missed, this year, was humor. While Hugh is a very talented actor/singer, we missed the comedy of Billy Crystal, Chris Rock and John Stewart. The only women to host the awards solo ,were Ellen & Whoopie Goldberg.
The men all looked amazing at this year’s Oscars with the exception of Mickey Rourke who looked like he was a boy- band biker dude in his tight white suit! All the young boys from Slum Dog Millionaire were dressed in Tuxes and looked amazing! That is such a terrific story, their homeland will never be the same. People now have a new respect for how they live in that part of India. Wearing one wrong outfit to the Oscars, can mean 300 bad photos for years to come. As much as we love Reece Witherspoon, her dress was terrible so unflattering and her hair was very plain. How sad that someone didn’t tell her LOL.
Angelina and Brad did make one of the most handsome couples, as much as I hate to admit that! Jennifer Aniston was gorgeous and held her own, being one of the category hosts with Jack Black. Our only wish is that once in a while she changed her hair style! It does look great blonder though. She did a great Job with Jack Black as a category host especially right in front of Brad and Angelina. At one point it looked like Jennifer gave Brad a personal smile only for him.
We loved the way past Oscar winners came out on the stage and gave the nominees a personal tribute. The one that Cuba Gooding Jr. gave Robert Downing Jr. for his role in Tropic Thunder was hilarious. Telling him to “leave the black roles alone for the brothers”. The women that looked fashionable and beautiful, were Penelope Cruz, Meryl Streep, Beyonce (although her dress did look a bit like a curtain), Jennifer Aniston, Angelina, Natalie Portman & Alicia Keys, Hallie Berry, Robin Wright, Marisa Tomei, & Queen Latifa
WHAT THE HELL IS A COUGAR ANYWAY?
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We are talking about the Human Species, not the Animal Kingdom. Is it a good thing to be called this? Many women find this demeaning, and from our research, there are two interpretations from different age groups. The younger set say that a Cougar is a hot older woman and the more mature group say it is an older woman who dresses somewhat questionable and easily sleeps around and probably pole dances! So, we’re thinking, this a good thing all around! (We have heard from a few sources, that the term Cougar was derived in the late 1980’s in the NHL Vancouver Canuck’s dressing room by the players who described the hot older women who came to watch their games.)
Ivana Trump married a guy who is 24 years younger, she is 59! Is she still considered a Cougar at 59? Demi Moore is in her 40’s and married much younger Ashton Kutcher. Susan Sarrandon and Tim Robbins are 12 years apart, her being older. FINALLY! It is not a double standard world anymore, where older men are the only ones dating someone 15 years younger.
There is a new show coming out, that is based on “The Bachelor/Bachelorette TV series”. This show stars a 40 year old, attractive woman who has to choose a much younger man out of 25 contestants. Some of the guys are 21! While we do think this is a good idea to have a single older woman in the running, would most of us truly be happy long term with a man this much younger than us?
Isn’t it hard enough getting older without having the reminder of our age by being with someone who has totally different tastes and energy levels than us? Even if we could keep up with them for a few years, how realistic is it, that the relationship will bring us our soul mate for the rest of our lives?
Relationships are hard enough to keep going with someone our own age, and if we just want to have fun and great sex for a year or so, it could work out nicely. I would think that the majority of older women would like to settle down and find a compatible partner within a ten year age span, preferably. Most 21 year olds don’t have a clue who they are yet, and are still into partying and Rap music. Do you really want to babysit a guy or at the very least be his teacher? Unless he has a huge inheritance, chances are you will end up paying for everything too!
Why don’t men have a name after 40? Why haven’t women developed a title for hot older men? Or have we missed hearing it? There are all sorts of names for younger guys, Pool boy,Toy Boy, Jethroe.(Cute but dumb) But what about some delicious stereotype we could attach to older men?
What are the Attributes and Detriments of a Cougar?
· A Cougar is a classy and attractive older woman, usually 35-50. (there are more and more women looking hot into their late 50’s now too)
· They dress trendy, but age appropriate. Bare midriffs/cleavage/miniskirts are a bit skanky after 40 even if you have the body to wear them.
· www.urbancougar.com is devoted to older women who like to hunt younger men
· Hot Older Mom’s could be a threat to their sons
· The Movie Mrs. Robinson has become real life situations today, but not without major lawsuits!
· Cougars are now money makers on TV. Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives, Lipstick Jungle
· Confident, well maintained bodies or happy with their body. Sexually secure (Botox and Fillers have helped big time with feeling good about aging)
The term “Cougar”, usually means that a woman is a sexual predator for younger men and is not concerned with commitment. She likes the freedom to hunt and keep moving along. Not all hot older women appreciate the term, and people should be discreet with throwing this stereotype around. xoxo the beavers
PLAYING HARD TO GET
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“Mystery” is everything when you are first starting out with someone new. It is “the lure”, that will keep someone coming back. If you are too available or too accommodating, you are not much of a challenge.
We all need a little of that in our lives as it prevents boredom!
“Playing Hard To Get”, is just a generalization used for some people in the dating market. It could just as easily be called: “How to keep them interested.”
There are obvious things not to do, but the main objective of this topic today is to help understand why some relationships in the early stages, do not develop into something more. If you are seeing a pattern, this may be a good segment for you.
People use this line often: “I am not into playing games. If they don’t like me for who I am, too bad”. While it is great to be true to yourself, you should never give all of you, in the first few dates. (or ever!)
No one is looking for your entire life biography, and if you lay out everything too quickly, the mystique is gone and you are already predictable. Have you ever watched a cat at a friends place? Who are they attracted to? It is usually the one who pays the least attention to them! Giving cats that elusive reputation they have acquired.
Think about purchasing a book. What is the first thing that draws you? The cover, and title right? Would you go into the bookstore, pick up an interesting book, and read the last chapter first?
Not appealing? No intrigue? No buildup? A quick beginning and hasty ending? Where is the filling, the substance and the meat of the story? In the middle right? Same for a relationship!
A person wants to feel special, but not at someone’s expense. If they are living “for you” and giving up their own needs constantly to please you, how do you respect them in the long run? They are actually co-dependent because they need to make you “their everything” to be happy. No one wants someone who is a kiss-ass!
Couples that work well, have a balance and they may not even know it. They put time for themselves and each other equally, so there is no resentment. Here are some suggestions to think about when you first start dating someone and you want this type of relationship down the road. (this goes for both sexes)
Don’t hand them every contact number you have including your Grandmother in Idaho! When they do contact you, be gracious but don’t drop everything you have planned to see them. Compromise but still make it on your time. If you really can’t make the first few dates, offer them an alternate day, or they may lose interest if it is too much work. Keep them at a comfortable distance but wanting more of you! Don’t jump into bed in the first month no matter how much you want to hump their cute little ass. Make sure that the person you are pursuing is interested! There is a difference between them playing hard to get, and being cold and removed.
Never compete with anyone for this person! Be confident. Keep things new and fresh. Do not make your friends or children a last priority, they were there 1st!
“Playing hard to get”, basically works if you are flexible and somewhat elusive. Needy or pushy people will always be looking for a new date, because that type of behavior grows old! Even if the sex is incredible! Who needs the drama? If someone has a full life and is happy with their choices, you entering it as their partner, will benefit both of you. (Because it allows you to have your own life as well.)
Playing a little hard to get, sets a precedent right from the start that says I’m interested, but I have a life without you too.
xoxo the beavers
HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOUR KID!
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Dating is tough enough but to add a child to the scenario is scary stuff! Many women opt out of the dating scene because they don’t have the time or money to go out to meet someone. (Let’s not forget
babysitting costs on top of it all.)
Looking back at my single days and rearing a young child, how the Hell did I do it? Even if the date was successful, how do I get the babysitter home when my child is asleep? Who has money for a taxi? What if he wants to come in for a nightcap? It definitely helps if you told him you have a child, just in case Jr. gets up for pee. You also have to beware if you are now at the stage where you might share your bed with this guy, and then your kid decides to crawl in and make it a threesome!
Despite how women deal with it, as a single mom, we need to talk about the guy that decides to take on you and your child, in a relationship situation. Girls, the first thing we must stress is: Your child is number one, but you can have a fulfilling and emotional love life as a single mother. Men do it all the time, why should we get the short end of the stick. You must be choosy when you are dating. Do not think that just because you have a child, you have to let go of your priorities or self worth, just to have someone in your life.
Remember, these men will be an influence to your child, in a good or bad way. You must be aware of the men that are only into “you” and pretend to be into your child. If he asks limited questions about your EX and your child, this should be your first clue. I have been on dates where the guy did not say one word about my son, but he knew I had one. I nixed him after the date because the red flags were “up- and
a- waving!” (My son was much more important than the booty call I might receive, for a few weeks.) Not to say that I didn’t do that occasionally, I just didn’t talk about my home life if I was in that frame of mind.
If you do decide to just have “a sexual encounter”, only go to their place and know them first. That way your child will not see them in your home. Try not to introduce your potential guy to your child, unless there is an established scenario with him. Some men look for women that are single and vulnerable, because they know “you” are missing romance and sex! Read their values, it’s not that hard if you are putting your child first. Single dads are your best choice because they get it!
If someone tells you they are not into kids, believe them! Do not invest time with someone who does not like, or want kids! How many stories have you heard where the women puts her kids on the back burner while, “MOM”, sows her wild oats. If you were blessed with a child, always be there for them first. Sometimes it may seem like a sacrifice, but it is a lifetime investment that is very special!
When deciding whether “that guy” is going to be a step-dad, make sure he is OK with your child on a full time basis, especially if you are not close to your EX, and he suddenly movies to The Outback in Australia. (You must also be OK if his children come to live with you as well) The Old Brady Bunch sitcom becomes a real life show in many scenarios! Part time stepchildren may be all they are cut out for.
Ask the right questions early on and pay attention to his actions as well. If you are a MILF, more men are likely to approach you, than if you are a June Cleaver wanna be, that cooks, and makes her date “her everything.” Men still want to know that there is a little bit
of a challenge.
(Watch our playing hard to get show, and you will understand better) Being a Needy single mom is not a “healthy situation” for raising a child, as you will not chose “healthy men!” Behavior breeds behavior.
When “He is just not that into your kid” the warning signs are usually pretty prevalent, it’s not rocket science. You don’t have to be the last to know. There are a lot of stand-up men out there who truly can learn to love your child. You need to give them credit once in a while and not let your children walk all over their good nature. If you expect them to help raise your kid, then you have to be prepared to give them credit, when credit is due. They must be a part of the child rearing and decision making. Your child must respect them and acknowledge who they are, especially since they are contributing to the household finances and welfare of their upbringing.
Xoxo the beavers
ARE YOU ADDICTED TO ONLINE DATING SITES?
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We have many friends who only date through online resources. This is mainly due to age, time and busy careers. You don’t even have to dress for the occasion unless you’re socializing with them through a Web cam. It is almost too easy, and this is what causes the addiction! It can be very exciting for some people who have always had a minimal personal life, to all of a sudden getting 5 e-mails a day, from prospective dates!
Part of the problem is, the addiction is not necessarily even with meeting the contacts. And if you do end up meeting them, many people do not want to take their profiles off the dating site, in case it
doesn’t work out. Can you say, “have your cake and eat it too”?
Even just online chatting, can keep people interested for a few months and you never end up meeting them, because that is all they want. Personally, that would make up our mind really quick! Red Flags! (They are probably married or in a relationship or already have too many on their favorites list.)
I went on Lava–life for 3 months a few years ago and I actually enjoyed it for the short time I was there. The three guys I did end up dating, were all true to who they said they were. One of them I dated for a few months but he ended up having his own addictions.
The biggest problem I found was how many of my friends were contacted by the same men I was hooking up with. It feels like they are cheating on you but truly they aren’t. It is “all fair” until you remove yourself off the site, and become exclusive with them.
One of my girlfriends just recently discovered her guy, (who was just a little bit too fucking busy most of the time) was dating about 4 other women as well. He used the same excuse with all of them and they believed him? One girl discovered this, and broke the news to the others. She somehow hacked into his e-mail!
Just because it seems easy, you should still have the same morals and values you have always had. Don’t let too many things go, or give excuses for everything either. Know what “you want” going in! Make a list and try not to stray too far from your desires. All of these girls allowed this guy to have way too many excuses as to why his time was limited with them. When someone is into you, they will make it happen.
ADDICTION SIGNS:
· The minute you get home you turn on your computer
· You socialize less with friends
· You eat your meals, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth and do yoga in front of the computer so you don’t miss anything
· Check to see what your past dates are doing on line!
· You are going to bed later and later due to online chats
· Becoming moody with regards to lack of online response.
· Get depressed when there are no contacts everyday.
· You are becoming introverted and removed.
· You have approached the same people more than once without knowing it.
Online dating is a great option especially with the economy spiralling and people are not going out as much. Meeting people is harder when you are older, as there are only so many venues that cater to the over 35 crowd. It is a good idea to limit yourself to only one dating site, some people are on three or more. That is just egotistical. We would actually recommend staying away from the “free sites”, as everybody and their dog joins them, as they have nothing to lose. Most of our girlfriends are frustrated with those sites because no one follows through with anything. There are a few sites out there that cost a little more but they do the screening for you, and save you hours of chat time and searches. They match YOU up! People are more serious when they have to pay for something, the old saying: “you get what you pay for”, comes to mind!
In closing, don’t be shy of dating online, but keep your eyes open all the time. If any of the above addictions are becoming a part of your life, re-evaluate how you got to this place and make some changes! With so much to chose from and so many frivolous situations pending, how will you ever meet someone of substance? If you were true to yourself and selective with your priorities in a potential partner, there
would never be that much of a Roster. It’s not about the quantity; it’s always been about quality at the end of the day.
xoxo the beavers
TEXTING ETIQUETTE
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Why has Texting become so popular?
It’s fast and easy and usually pretty inexpensive! It is also less invasive, especially if your phone is on vibrate. It is wonderful for people who travel so they have continual access to family at home. It is also great in restaurants, meetings, movie theatres and appointments, where phone conversations are prohibited. While cell phones have a certain etiquette to follow, so does texting. Here are some of them below.
Texting Etiquette To Be Aware Of:
· Do not drink and text! Same as Drinking and Dialing
· Text at appropriate hours…after 11PM can have booty-call intentions
· Do not break-up over a text especially if it was a long relationship!
· Bad news should be said in person not in a text message
· Only text in lighted areas, or you could send it to the wrong person
· Remember your messages can be forwarded, so be careful what you say
· Never threaten anyone in a text. It can be used as harassment evidence
· Your face says a thousand words, even while texting, so be careful who’s watching
· Do not spend time texting others while you are on a date! Even in the washroom!
xoxo the beavers
TEXT IN THE CITY
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The biggest form of Texting is now Text-dating or Text-flirting! It seems to have replaced the phone for many young people. Texting can be playful and is a big asset for someone who is shy. It allows you to
hide behind a mask, so to speak. There is a real art to text-flirting and perfecting it is half the fun.
Here are a few of the Dating Pros of text messages:
· No face to face intimidation
· There is less rejection felt, if you are brushed off gently (can’t see you blushing of embarrassment)
· Can lead up to a date by numerous flirtatious one liners and get a feel for reciprocated interest
· The pressure is not on men as much to ask a woman out now. It’s more equal.
· Not having to spend awkward hours on the telephone just to get up the nerve to ask someone out. Most guys hate talking on the phone!
· Texting makes you get to the point fast, so it makes you think first before writing.
Texting is a casual way of getting to know someone whom you just met regardless of what age you are. This form of Texting can be an interesting way to flirt with your partner. It can enhance your relationship throughout the day when you are not together. Sexy messages can act like foreplay, so that when you get home later that day, you are ready for some hot body to body contact. It is very
effective, take our word for it! xoxo the beavers
ARE YOU BEING LEFT BEHIND IN THE COMPUTER WORLD?
Download “ARE YOU BEING LEFT BEHIND IN THE COMPUTER WORLD?”
Sandra and I are techno geeks and love learning anything we can get our hands on. It is very time consuming and technology is not always “User Friendly!” 18-34 is definitely considered,”The computer age.” Their vast knowledge is leaving a generation gap with many people over 45, if they are not willing to adapt.
TOP TEN REASONS TO KEEP UP WITH TECHNOLOGY:
· 1) Keeps you close to your family and friends especially if you live in different parts of the world
· 2) Keeps you young and informed. Google can be a life-line
· 3) Helps control generation gaps
· 4) Combats loneliness with chat lines and other online connections
· 5) Allows you to be creative and keep your mind sharp, regardless of age!
· 6) Brings a sense of accomplishment.
· 7) Webcams are the next best thing to being there!
· Promotes small business ideas that can be done from home
· 9) The Internet is faster than the yellow pages and Encyclopedias
· 10) Online dating is now available for Seniors!
xoxo the beavers
PETS IN THE BEDROOM?
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How many of you sleep with your pets? We understand how many people love their animals and enjoy the quiet time together, but allowing your pets under the covers is a bad habit to get into!!
I dated this guy who worked with the Canine Police Squad who’s dog went everywhere with him. The dog wouldn’t let his master out of his sight and that included our sex time! Police Dogs can be pretty aggressive when they witness their Master in a hump fest! Just when you least expect it, a cold nose is up your butt or your feet are being licked, and it’s not your partner!
One of my girlfriends broke up with her boyfriend because of his big dog taking up her side of the bed. Every time she spent the night, if the dog wasn’t already in the bed, his fur and dirty remnants were there to remind her he had been. She even found one of his bones! Gives a whole new meaning to boner!
Allowing your pet on top of the duvet, on a bottom corner of the bed, is one thing, but when Lassie is between the sheets with her paw across your ass or face is another. How much sleep do you really think you are getting with an animal snoring, stretching, purring, scratching and licking their balls, all night beside you?
Believe it or not dogs can be co-dependent and once you let down your guard to let them sleep in “your kingdom”, you have opened a big can of worms. Who hasn’t heard the term “separation anxiety”.Part of the reason dogs and other pets feel this anxiety, is because WE are turning them into humans! We dress them in coats and shoes, give them pedicures, jewelery, and feed them the same food we eat for dinner!
The final touch is their own personal pillow to sleep on, between our 400-thread count, Christian Dior, King Size sheets! Hello? What are we doing?
Are we that lonely in or out of a relationship? Are we substituting?
Pets that misbehave have no respect for your home, and should not be rewarded by interfering in your love life too. If they are allowed to become the household boss, your relationship will take a second
seat!
One of my girlfriends had a Cocker Spaniel that was so spoiled I couldn’t stand to be around it. She was on about the 4th date with this guy she really liked when all Hell broke loose. She put his expensive leather coat on the bed and the dog was so jealous of the new guy, that he tore it to shreds! He slept in that bed every night and was very territorial. Needless to say, they didn’t last long after that. He didn’t like the competition.
When my son was born and first home from the hospital, my cat was very protective and did everything possible to sleep in his bassinet. It didn’t matter where my son slept; the cats mission was to be beside him or on top of him. (Very scary, as he could have been suffocated.) I had to lock him in another room at night. Sadly, we had to eventually give him to another family.
Can you imagine how hot it would be during menopause with a 100 lb dog in your bed beside you? I recently looked after my friend’s cat for a week. One of those big fluffy pink things, with the flat face. It would come in at night jump on my chest and scare the shit out of me. Then once it woke me up would stick its ass in my face and start purring!! Cats are weird. Plus, fluffy cats always have something
stuck on their butt fur. I almost shaved her cat as bald as one of because of that reason. There was so much cat fur left in my condo, all of my shirts looked like they were Angora sweaters!
I guess by now you know we are not in favor of animals in our beds. On the bed, once in a while maybe, but between the sheets? We’ve got better ideas! I would rather be shaking pecker hairs off the sheets
than animal hair and dandruff. Any anyone sticking their butt in our faces will not be short and hairy LOL!
Xoxo the beavers
THE REAL SURVIVORS (TOP TEN SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS)
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How many of us really remember our teen years and how horrible we actually were to our siblings and our parents. Many of us have no realization of how nasty we were to live with between the ages of 13-20 years old! Why would anyone want to be a high school teacher LOL? They say that Dentistry is one of the top suicidal professions but we think that statistic needs upgrading! You couldn’t pay us enough to
deal with teenager’s sense of entitlement and me/me attitude of the millennium!
Sandra and I are both parents of teens and here are the top ten tips that we have found works the best:
· Drink lots starting at 3PM before kids get out of school
· Do not listen to your friends about taking prescriptions drugs; Prozac is your daily vitamin now!
· NEVER EVER give your teen’s school, your home address/e-mail or real phone number. In fact set up a voicemail on a “pay as you use” cell phone, saying “you are out of town” indefinitely!
· Drink lots, oh yeah already said that.
· Start baking marijuana cookies; put them out for an afternoon snack for your teen and their friends upon their arrival home from school. Ensure you have one too. It has a calming effect to help you deal
with the anxiety of their return.
· Invest in underground vault. Remove all booze from your liquor cabinet and transfer.
· To keep them from having sex under your roof, video them and threaten YouTube exposure on them. (To ensure them you know how to actually do it, put one up of the them naked when they were 10)
· Send them to summer camp and then move without a forwarding address.
· Play the new parents game “change the locks regularly” just to keep them on their toes!
· Cancel all Internet, Cable and any new techno gaget on their 13th birthday, to keep your child and all their friends at someone else’s house!
xoxo the beavers
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR EX!
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We all have a story about an EX, but how many of go on and on about it until our friends and family delete us from their existence! There are many circumstances rallying around these discussions but repeated
conversation about any subject should be curtailed.
I once dated a guy who could not stop talking about his Ex-wife. It was like they were still together but they had been separated for 2 years! He always spoke wonderfully about her, but it was over the top. I finally asked him why he wasn’t still with her? He said she was too controlling. How ironic, since she was still controlling him!
I think we have all had at least one scenario in our lives that we drove ourselves, and everyone else crazy. Hopefully we only do it once! I know at least one guy that I drove my friends crazy with. It is difficult when you have friends who take two years to get over every broken relationship! They build a shrine around old photos and greeting cards from a past EX. Or get drunk and then rehash over and over all the reasons why they should still be together, even though all their friends were so happy they split. No more drama!
Have you ever noticed the quiet EX is always the one most respected? I think men are better at not reacting, they leave it up to us bunny boilers to dig our own hole in the public eye. When you are on a date
and you are talking constantly about an Ex, you are not over them! Regardless of whether something nasty or nice is said. If you were truly finished with your EX, why would they be the main topic on your
date?
How about the people who break-up every 2 weeks, tell you the horror stories about their EX and then get back together with them after you know all the sorted details right down to their sex life or lack of.
You are not supposed to say anything?? On the other side of the coin, how does Ashton Kutcher stand the whole threesome thing with Bruce Willis and his wife Demi Moore? It is always wonderful that you can get along with an EX for the sake of the kids, but traveling with them on your family vacation is just odd.
My parents and their new spouses come to all family functions but have been split for 20 years.! They did not have a nice break-up and here was a lot of hurt that went with it. My mom just recently had a
70th birthday party for her second husband and my Dad! Their birthdays are 5 days apart in November. She definitely has a thing for Scorpio husbands.
Many people are still desperately in love with their Ex after many years apart. They end up in another relationship and go through the motions that they are really happy and have moved on, even getting married to someone else. Many times it is a rebound, or they settle just to “move on” past the hurt.
Some people really do only have one true love and it simply cannot be replaced. Which is why some people never remarry when a spouse dies. We kind of like the thinking, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with! At least then, you do not spend the entire, rest of your life, pining for the one that broke your heart.
xoxo the beavers
IS IT TIME TO MOVE IN TOGETHER?
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This is a loaded question and we don’t think people really take enough time going over the “Living Together Checklist!” It is a necessary tool to use when making such a committed decision!
So what should we be looking for and are we looking for the same things down the road? How long have you known each other? Why have you decided to live together? Finances? Convenience? Can’t live without each other? Due to long distance relationship issues?
Do you know and love their quirks? Does it bother you if your guy sits down to pee? LOL or she stands up to pee? (Many relationships break-up over the little aggravations that over time, become huge). One guy I lived with, told me much later, that I never put lids back on things properly. Many times when he would pick something up it would drop on the floor because the lid was fall off. I hated those child -proof caps and once I got them off, I would leave them loose so I didn’t have to fight with them.
People really do sweat the small stuff in a partnership. It is always a good idea to have two bathrooms in your communal pad for any “anal preferences” you may have for the toilet paper roll or toothpaste
caps! Men have “maybe” 6 bathroom items on their counter and they use I roll of toilet paper a year. They obviously love the smell of their own poop, which is the reason they have a magazine rack by the
toilet. They can sit there for 30 minutes reading away. Women have 55,000 toiletry items and go though a 10 pack roll of 4 ply in a week!
What else will your future roommate be bringing into your new home? Kids? Pets? Mother? Austin Power’s shagadelic furniture? Home decorating can be a difficult compromise! She likes pink ruffles, he likes
burlap beanbag chairs! What is wrong with a photo of “The Godfather” over the living room fireplace and full length ceiling mirrors in the bedroom? Come on girls you really should be more flexible.
What are the sexual expectations? Things can change drastically when you see each other 24/7! It’s no longer as exciting as the early chase of a new date. Better get into role-playing to keep it exciting!
Don’t see each other every evening. Make plans with friends so that they have time to miss you. We seem to want the ones that are not always in our face!
Do a trial living arrangement at each other’s place first This will tell you many things about each other. Is someone more territorial in their own envirnomnet? Easy going or Controling? The checklist above should help you look at the “living together” scenario before you actually commit to it. That is what dating is all about. Communicating and paying attention to detail could save you many arguments and heartbreak. It is easy to be attracted to someone and even love them, but it is not always easy to cohabitate. Even if the sex is unbelievable, it is not always enough to sustain a partnership.
xoxo the beavers
MEETING THE FAMILY
Download “Meeting The Family.mp3″
WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO MEET SOMEONE’S FAMILY? Our rule of thumb has always been is you are invited to family dinner after 3 dates RUN! Early family meetings are set up as a test to see if you fit in. It
is a TRAP!
It has always been said that if you want to see how your potential spouse will look later in life, to look at the parents! Do you really want to scare them off that early? Watching your partner’s parents interact, could shed some light on certain questions you had about their childhood or emotions. It is a window to their soul to some degree.
This is a good time to add that you must not blindside your partner when taking them to meet your parents for the first time. Leaving out that they are Gay, have a disability or that you are adopted and the
only Caucasian is not fair to your partner. It is about knowing what to expect so they can handle themselves accordingly.
Many people think it is easier when the family lives a long distance away but that can mean a week long visit with them under your roof full time! We like it when the parents live about an hour away, so they
couldn’t just drop in like they do on the show: Everyone loves Raymond! Even if you love your date’s family, it is difficult having to commute to see them and every holiday can be stressful with who goes where.
That can be a big decision maker when you are dating or living with someone. There is also the problem of being very close to their family and you end up in divorce or breaking-up. Now what? Look at Jennifer Aniston and Brad’s parents. They are still very close, which can
cause huge problems in the new relationship Find out how really close they are to the Ex. Are you going to have to share a seat at the dinner table with them? While it is wonderful that we are all so mature
about this, “three is a crowd”, no matter how you look at it!
When you OK a family meeting, make sure you are honest with allergies and food dislikes. Going into anaphylactic shock on your first encounter will not make a great impression! And you will want to hurt
your partner for almost killing you. Knowing as much as possible before you meet them will help with your conversation while you are visiting. It will give you topics to either avoid or converse in. If they love Bush you may not want to praise Obama for 3 hours at the dinner table! If you are dating someone of a different culture, it would be wise to find out if his or her family will be receptive to you! Your initial meeting could come with death threats!
Religion can also be a rift creator! Is he is Jewish and he is a Christian, how do you deal with Christmas? This could also cause problems with the parent, especially at your wedding or family function and holidays.
Life is difficult enough without adding judgement from family members! Make sure your relationship is strong enough to endure the merging of two families into your union. There is always the option of seeing
your family separately if there is too much conflict.
Your love should be strong enough to out-weigh any argumentative occurrences that try to sway your belief in your partner. It is YOUR future not theirs and unfortunately you can’t choose your family.
xoxo the beavers
STALKER MOMS
Download “Stalker Moms.mp3″
We have all seen the overbearing mom that just seems to be at every event and very often heads up the PTA meetings as President. While this may be OK for elementary school kids, what happens when Mommy keeps up the stalker-mom tradition when you are married with your own children? In the sitcom “Everyone Loves Raymond”, Raymond’s mom is a good example of what this segment is all about. She is a troublemaker and cause rifts between her son and his wife regularly.Some moms just can’t let go ((I was probably a bit of a stalker-mom when my son played hockey.) Sports can be bring out the mama bear who wants to protect her cubs. Anyone who threatens her baby is fair game!
There is also the June Cleaver from “Leave It To Beaver” type, who is the perfect mother and wife. Her whole life revolves around catering to her family’s needs. It is obsessive but not as obtrusive as those controlling and meddling Mommy’s. Obsessive Mom’s don’t want their kids to grow up and keep them around the house longer by making life simple for them. They let them stay rent free in the renovated private
basement suite with the 54in Flat screen TV, till they are 30.
It may sound wonderful that she cares so much, but junior will not be a self-sufficient partner down the road. They have had everything done for them since infancy! It builds character when life doesn’t
always run so smoothly. The trials and tribulations of life, give a person substance.
If you are a single mom, don’t make your child pay the price of your loneliness. They are not your best friend. They are not there to entertain you and you are not there to live vicariously through them
either. You are two individuals who need to respect mother/child boundaries.
My son invites me to things, which sometimes involve his friends. To be honest, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Not with him, but with the others. Are they really going to tell him they don’t want
his mom there? He can be protective over me, and who knows what he says to them. I don’t want to be known as a stalker-mom because I am hanging out with his friends.
As a parent you need to be aware of how much is too much of anything!
· Dressing like a Cougar
· Embarrassing photos or messages on Facebook
· Calling or texting them repeatedly
· Where and when to lecture
· Know when to cut off your alcohol (when you are with your kid)
· Do not give them your business card if you have a Beaver talk show
· Don’t tell them your bedroom sex stories
· If you are single, do not hang a pull- tab number system on the front door…NEXT!
· Do not bring a wedding planner to every meeting of your kid’s new girl/guy
TIME TO GO BRAZILIAN (when your pubic hair turns gray!)
Download “Time To Go Brazilian (when your pubic hair turns gray).mp3″
It is hard enough getting older without having pre-mature grey hair to go with it! We are not just talking about the hair on your head! Just try to find a hair stylist that will dye your pubic hair for you!
My last stylist was Gay and when I asked him to match the carpet to the drapes: He loudly declared, “I’m not touching that thing!!”
It can be a little dangerous to try doing yourself, but many people do. And no one is the wiser that your head hair and pubic hair color are both as phony as most of Hollywood’s breasts!
This can be a very high maintenance procedure depending on re-growth, so many women and men, are opting for the Brazilian Bikini wax. (It must look pretty funny when you have roots on your privates) Before you set up an apt for one of these, you may want to watch a video on it. There are many out there for viewing for both sexes! Be forewarned, you may cancel your appointment!
If you have the cash do laser hair removal. It is more permanent and not quite as painful! No one ever really gets used to the having his or her butt crack waxed. Not even exotic dancers, who are the biggest salon regulars.
Excess hair makes a person perspire more, so if you want to smell sweeter, think about some form of removal. Even on men, it doesn’t always make you smell manly. If you are having sex regularly, it is now
considered sexual etiquette to trim the bush. Unless you or your date have a pubic hair fetish! Personally the Sasquatch look doesn’t do it for us!
My girlfriends and I were thinking of having an “After Brazilian Party” or “Bald Beaver Party”! You are only allowed “in” after flashing “your new look” through the mail slot. Each guest must bring before and after photos!
Other maintenance tips for both sexes:
· 1) Buy a Satin pillowcase. Cotton wrinkles, and causes morning face creases! As you age, these take longer and longer to go away. Going to the office meeting with a 300-thread count label embedded into
your cheek, is not fashionable.
2) Same goes for eye shades, be careful how tight and what material they are made of. Having the nickname “raccoon girl” is not a compliment!
· 3) Weight training! This is one of the best skin tighteners out there! Ladies, it can give you cleavage even if you are only an A cup, I am proof of how muscle gives the illusion that you actually have
some boob! And for those double E women, it can keep the girls up a little higher by not allowing the pectoral muscle & ligaments to become too slack or atrophied!
· 4) This also applies to men in the chest area. Men sag too!! No guy wants man-boobs. And no girl wants a guy with bigger breasts than her!
· 5) Loofa everything! Skin looks old when it is dry!
· 6) Invest in “Crest white strips” or better yet, teeth lazering is less time consuming and pretty amazing! For the $300 it will cost you, it is worth ten times that much. (Hands/feet and teeth are the first age give-away.)
· 7) 45 minutes of fast paced Cardio 5 times per week will help keep you in a good weight zone and if you can work up a sweat, your skin will thank you. It is a natural exfoliater and skin softener. These tips are cost effective and less invasive than cosmetic surgery. Many people do not want to be bothered with keeping themselves younger looking and grow old naturally. We say fight it all the way!
You may like the cliché line, “You are as old as you feel”, but we prefer our own saying: “You are as old as you look!”
Xoxo the beavers